Emotional Abuse Test
Harm that doesn't leave marks is still harm.
Published by the Healthio+ editorial team · Based on A pattern screener built from the behaviours documented by The National Domestic Violence Hotline and Medical News Today, and from the UK legal definition of controlling or coercive behaviour (Section 76, Serious Crime Act 2015). Emotional abuse is not a clinical diagnosis and no validated questionnaire for it exists — this describes documented behaviours, not a condition.
How we build our tests →Emotional abuse is defined by a pattern of behaviour, not by any single argument — so answer about one specific person and how things usually go with them. This test asks about what they do, not about what's wrong with you. Nothing you enter is saved or linked to you.
This is a screening tool, not a diagnosis. Results are for self-reflection only. Only a licensed professional can diagnose a condition.
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About the Emotional Abuse Test
Also known as: am I being emotionally abused quiz, emotional abuse quiz, signs of emotional abuse test, psychological abuse test, coercive control test, narcissistic abuse test.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines emotional abuse as "non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you." These behaviours leave no physical marks, but the Hotline is clear that they hurt, disempower and traumatise the person on the receiving end.
It is easy to underestimate for exactly that reason. The Hotline reports that 95% of the people who contact them state they are experiencing emotional abuse. That figure describes people already reaching out for help rather than the general population — but it does show that emotional abuse is rarely a minor footnote to physical abuse. It is very often the main event.
Emotional abuse is not a diagnosis and there is no validated clinical questionnaire for it. It describes another person's behaviour, not a condition you have. It happens between partners, but Medical News Today also documents it between parents and children — shaming, belittling or humiliating a child, or yelling and screaming at them — and in workplaces, including blaming someone for something invalid, or swearing at, shouting at or humiliating them.
In some places it is also a crime. In England and Wales, Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 created the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship. The Crown Prosecution Service describes the offence as repeated or continuous controlling or coercive behaviour toward someone you are personally connected to, which has a serious effect on them — either causing them to fear violence on at least two occasions, or causing serious alarm or distress that has a substantial effect on their usual day-to-day activities. The maximum penalty is five years' imprisonment.
The effects are documented in both the short and long term. Medical News Today lists anxiety, shame, fear, frequent crying and difficulty concentrating among short-term effects, and loss of sense of self, depression and anxiety among longer-term ones. In children, effects can include developmental delays, learning difficulties, and suicidal thoughts or behaviours.
This test is a free, anonymous online screening you can complete in about three minutes. It has 12 questions and is adapted from A pattern screener built from the behaviours documented by The National Domestic Violence Hotline and Medical News Today, and from the UK legal definition of controlling or coercive behaviour (Section 76, Serious Crime Act 2015). Emotional abuse is not a clinical diagnosis and no validated questionnaire for it exists — this describes documented behaviours, not a condition. Your answers are scored privately in your browser — nothing is saved or linked to you — and you get an instant result framed for self-reflection rather than as a diagnosis.
Signs and symptoms of Emotional Abuse
The National Domestic Violence Hotline lists these as warning signs of emotional abuse:
- Name-calling, insults and put-downs.
- Continually criticising you.
- Controlling your time and your actions.
- Gaslighting — denying that things you remember ever happened.
- Criticising your appearance or dictating what you wear.
- Jealousy about the time you spend with friends or family.
- Withholding attention or affection as a punishment.
- Isolating you from other people.
- Making threats to harm you or others.
- Demanding permission before you do things.
- Constant accusations of cheating.
- Threatening to break up with or divorce you in order to manipulate you.
- Threatening suicide during arguments.
- Blaming you for their own abusive behaviour.
- Using guilt around sexual intimacy.
- Love bombing, followed by manipulation.
Who is this test for?
Anyone who has been noticing these feelings or patterns and wants a structured, private way to reflect on them. It's a starting point for people wondering whether what they're experiencing is worth paying attention to — not a way to label or diagnose yourself. It is not suitable for anyone in crisis or in need of urgent help — if that's you, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis line right away.
How to read your results
Low (score 0–11)
Your answers don't show a consistent pattern of the behaviours documented as emotional abuse. Conflict and bad weeks happen in every relationship — what defines abuse is a repeated pattern used to control, isolate or frighten.
Moderate (score 12–27)
Several of these behaviours are showing up for you. That's worth taking seriously rather than explaining away — emotional abuse is defined by pattern and repetition, not by severity of any one incident. Talking it through with someone outside the relationship, or with a domestic abuse line, can help you see it more clearly (details in the FAQs below).
High (score 28–48)
You're describing many of the behaviours that The National Domestic Violence Hotline documents as emotional abuse. This is not a judgement of anyone and it isn't a diagnosis — but what you've described deserves real support, and you do not have to wait for it to become physical to reach out. Domestic abuse helplines for several countries are listed in the FAQs below, and they are for exactly this.
Where this test comes from
This screening is adapted from A pattern screener built from the behaviours documented by The National Domestic Violence Hotline and Medical News Today, and from the UK legal definition of controlling or coercive behaviour (Section 76, Serious Crime Act 2015). Emotional abuse is not a clinical diagnosis and no validated questionnaire for it exists — this describes documented behaviours, not a condition. We keep the original questions and validated scoring intact and add plain-language explanations of what each result means. You can read our full process, including how we handle sources and sensitive topics, in how we build our tests.
What to do with your result
Whatever your result, treat it as information, not a verdict. If it resonates, it can be a useful thing to bring to a doctor or mental-health professional — they can see the full picture a short questionnaire can't. Feelings and circumstances change, so retaking the test after a few weeks can also show whether things are shifting over time.
Frequently asked questions
What counts as emotional abuse?
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines it as non-physical behaviours meant to control, isolate or frighten you. In practice that includes name-calling and put-downs, continual criticism, controlling your time and actions, isolating you from friends and family, gaslighting, threats, demanding permission before you do things, and blaming you for their own behaviour.
Is emotional abuse as serious as physical abuse?
It is treated as serious harm in its own right, not a lesser version of physical abuse. The Hotline states these behaviours hurt, disempower and traumatise, and documented long-term effects include loss of sense of self, depression and anxiety. In England and Wales, controlling or coercive behaviour is a criminal offence carrying up to five years' imprisonment, with no requirement that physical violence occurred.
Can emotional abuse happen outside romantic relationships?
Yes. Medical News Today documents it between parents and children — shaming, belittling or humiliating a child, yelling or screaming at them — and in workplaces, including unjustified blame, swearing, shouting and humiliation. The family version is often the hardest to recognise, because it can be the environment you grew up in.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is the pattern of behaviour used to dominate someone's day-to-day life. Under Section 76 of the UK's Serious Crime Act 2015 it is a criminal offence when it is repeated or continuous, the people are personally connected, and it has a serious effect — either causing fear of violence on at least two occasions, or serious alarm or distress substantially affecting their usual daily activities.
What are the effects of emotional abuse?
Short-term effects documented by Medical News Today include anxiety, shame, fear, frequent crying and difficulty concentrating. Longer-term effects include loss of sense of self, depression and anxiety. In children they can extend to developmental delays, learning difficulties, and suicidal thoughts or behaviours.
Where can I get help?
In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 on 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. In the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. In India, the women's helpline is 181. You do not have to be in physical danger, or be certain it counts as abuse, to call — helping people work that out is part of what they do.
Is the Emotional Abuse Test free?
Yes — completely free. No signup, no email, and no paywall. Healthio+ is supported by advertising, which is what keeps every test free to take.
Is this test anonymous, and is my data saved?
It's fully anonymous. Your answers are scored entirely in your browser and are never sent to us or stored anywhere. We keep only an anonymous count of how many people take each test, plus which browser family was used and which site you arrived from — never who took it or how they answered.
Is this test a diagnosis?
No. This is a screening tool for self-reflection, not a medical or psychological diagnosis. No online test can diagnose you. If your result resonates, consider speaking with a qualified doctor or mental-health professional.
How long does this test take?
About three minutes. It has 12 questions and gives you an instant result the moment you finish.
What is this test based on?
A pattern screener built from the behaviours documented by The National Domestic Violence Hotline and Medical News Today, and from the UK legal definition of controlling or coercive behaviour (Section 76, Serious Crime Act 2015). Emotional abuse is not a clinical diagnosis and no validated questionnaire for it exists — this describes documented behaviours, not a condition.